I am one week away from a new experience that I hope will be the start of a new outlook on life. The old cliché of wanting more from life has hit me full force and instead of pushing those thoughts to the back of my already overloaded brain as I usually do, I have decided to take a different path.
I haven’t sold everything, quit my job and bought a ticket to Bali (that would be a bit drastic and I don’t think my husband would support it.) Instead I have taken a baby step and have signed up for a “Weekend of Awakening Yoga Retreat” in the Canadian Rocky Mountains.
This might not sound like a big deal for most people but for an introverted, anxiety riddled, borderline crazy person with ADHD, this is a huge deal. I thought hard about this retreat for a full week before I signed up and knew that once I had paid for it, it would be harder to back out because I may have anxiety, but I’m also frugal and not ashamed to say it.
There are a few things that scare me about this retreat:
A weekend with strangers!
What if everyone knows each other except me!
I have to share a room with a stranger!
I know very little about yoga!
There will be strangers there!
And so on and so forth!
You would think that at my age I wouldn’t have all these highschool phobias but I fully admit that I do (and that’s another scary part…what if I’m the oldest person there?).
At work I can draw on my knowledge, experience and common sense to guide me through any situation and I can fake self- confidence very well but in unknown situations I am a mess. Truthfully, I would rather stay home on the couch with my husband eating chocolate and watching movies but unfortunately, that doesn’t change my thirst for self- improvement or my quest to find more meaning and balance in my life.
So… I’ve decided to get off the couch and step off the hamster wheel for a few days. I need to take a new path towards self-discovery and my hope is that I learn some new tools to help me live a more meaningful life.
I also hope that through the principles of yoga I find a way to silence my brain for at least a moment.
Wish me luck!